Coaching after life crises

Life is long and events are many, and we cannot avoid being exposed to great physical or psychological stresses at times: accidents, near misses, divorce, serious illness, sudden deaths among colleagues, close friends or family, burnout or other crises in our lives will sooner or later affect one of us or one of our loved ones. Through crisis management, you will experience support, care, information and knowledge about common emotional reactions after major stresses, and it can give you a better basis for helping yourself and others.

Common crisis reactions

When we are exposed to a dramatic and unexpected event, it is normal to react both physically and emotionally.

Acute reactions: The first hours / days after a major physical / mental stress will often be characterized by unreality, an inner emptiness. Everything is experienced as a dream, a movie, you are on the side of yourself and do not understand what has happened.

Also, don't be surprised if you have few emotional outbursts, most people have strong bodily reactions such as palpitations, tremors, sweating, abdominal pain, nausea, etc.

The reality experience

Once the initial shock has worn off, reality gradually intrudes and reactions set in. Some react with anxiety, fear, anger, screaming and crying. Others become apathetic, silent and withdrawn - almost petrified. Reliving and intrusive memories of the event are common. Many have physical reactions with trembling, palpitations, nausea, vomiting and diarrhea. The reactions after a dramatic experience are often more prolonged than we think. It takes time and effort to process what we have experienced. People react differently, and it is important to respect different emotional expressions and reactions.

The reactions have complex causes:

• What have you just been exposed to?
• How did you feel when you were exposed to the stress?
• Do you have past experiences, losses or painful memories that come up in connection with the current stress?

Your subconscious mind will use energy to process the event, which can lead to physical and psychological reactions. This is the brain's way of working to help you get back on track, it's completely natural and in most cases timed.

What you can do in a crisis situation

Talk to others
It always helps to share thoughts and feelings with others, even if it feels difficult at times. Our natural support system is our closest people: good work colleagues, family, boyfriends and friends are important conversation partners in this context. In addition, we can make use of the support system and networks available through work and the healthcare system.

Stay fit
Physical activity helps you to reduce internal tension and burn off stress hormones. Make sure you get fresh air, regular meals and enough sleep. For a shorter period of time, sleeping medication may be necessary; consult a doctor if your sleep fails over time.

Avoid alcohol and sedative drugs
Alcohol and sedative drugs can have a short-term anti-anxiety effect, but prevent you from processing the experience and have a sedative effect.

Return to work
For most people, it is an advantage to return to work as soon as possible. If necessary, you can ask for your work situation to be specially adapted for a period of time. All employers have a duty to help employees in a difficult life situation.

Seek help
Share your experiences with your family, good friends, trusted colleagues or seek help from the support system that is available around you (HSE department at work, primary doctor/health service where you live). For example, a skilled psychologist, psychiatrist or perhaps a priest can be of great help over a period of time.

Aftercare is important

After the initial period, when everyday life returns, it is important to move forward. What has happened cannot be undone. The focus of life must be on the future. Little by little, the grief and heavy emotions will let go, and you will find that the joy of life and courage return.

My role as a coach

• We can often feel confused and paralyzed for a while after a serious crisis. Many people fail to seek help and support in the time after the event, when daily life begins to function normally.

• After critical events, we are often particularly vulnerable. This often expresses itself through irritation. Many people struggle to get back to normal life. This requires patience and understanding from those around you.

• In this phase, it can be useful to have a coach who can bring out the resources you have within you and help you to look ahead. That way, you can get help to set new goals in life.

• Remember: a problem is not a problem until you avoid taking action. All solutions lie within yourself. I can help you, in an interaction with you, to find solutions and help that is right for you. I can't solve your problem for you, only you have that power. That's important to know.

• I will show that I care, show presence, empathy, as well as listen on multiple levels and coach you on short-term and long-term goals.
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To move forward after a crisis, it is important to focus on the opportunities and not the limitations in life. By thinking positive thoughts, positive things will happen. We are all responsible for our life and how we want to live it. We can live it in the past, we can live it in the future, or we can live it in the present. When you focus positively, you will see that a problem is not a problem, but an opportunity to find a solution. And the solution lies within oneself. What you may need help with is to spot this solution.

Focus on your opportunities and the solution will come in a day.